Horror of Cold

--Horror of Cold--
Everything seemed normal,
A day in college,
Fun with friends.
Everything was perfct at ths stage.
.
Her walk in quiet lane,
Watching her shadow,
changing lengths.
Soon few shadows creeped out,
playing on her in their strengths.
.
They grabed her,
She tried to escape the unseen trouble.
Their claws snatched everything,
As she started to crumble.
.
Her soul screamed,
Every part of her body,
Was victimised.
All she could do,
is to clsoe her eyes.
.
The vicious greed of men,
turned huaman into beast.
Dreadfull deed of their,
insane insane insane.
.
Pain was at its peak,
Her innocence was torn apart.
Her voice had fainted,
There was nothing left to speak.
.
Tears had no ending,
Wounds of times getting deeper.
She could feel the darkness,
upon her and within.
.
In her ears,
Those laugh echoing.
Her body was injured,
and deep inside with time she was dying.
.
Her faith on God left broken,
No one came to her aid.
Time stood by against her,
While the hinious game was played.
.
In middle of nowhere,
she laid there unmoved.
numb and naked,
Men or Beasts now is proved.
.
Blood through her wounds,
or its her intigrity flowing away.
Death was more easy than what she suffered,
Time was passing,she didnt want light of another day.
.
Horror has gone,
But it all painted black.
Her mere identity abandoned her,
Only in flesh she remains,
Rest was gone in the attack.
.
Her trembling fingers,
Her withered body.
Her soul's sin,
was just to be in woman's body..

Grey Tear

Emotions overflow,
From heart as they go.
Colors of feelings as they stop,
A grey tear has its drop.
Fears,grief its all there,
Inside the tear which is bare.
As I hold tight to my feelings,
My wishes and my cravings.
All start coming out,
Inside the tear which cannot shout.
Mistakes,regrets all in motion,
Surrounded by it like water in ocean.
Mere thing beyond words I can steal,
Is to let this transparent drop to dry n heal.
My only companion in my loneliness,
Besides my thoughts and emotional mess.
Cleaning up all this from heart and mind,
Another tear similar to first in my one can find.
Don't ask to wipe it,
It's corrupt yet neat.
All the anguish and rage,
Tranquil in salt water my eyes couldn't cage.
As it burns like acid,
Memories have a final goodbye to bid.
The fumes in front of my eye,
The tear finally disappears into a imaginary lie..

Upside Down

That is all that you have read.
Heard what I said,
Nothing below this you will find.
In words I gave you a tickle of mind,
May be another read is in need.
Of the work I did,
The whole confusion of existence.
Thoughts creating menace,
Words of different meaning.
Alphabets coming together screaming,
Nothing out of this world.
Nothing accidental entwined or curled,
As you just see it.
Find something pure and neat,
Different pictures of different thoughts.
Raining words ending the droughts,
To see it in a way clear.
Start looking it from here.

Infancy

Heavy load of thoughts to carry,
Moments of sadness and sorry.
Times which brought smile,
Staying long and for a while.
.
Take this all imagination,
Take me back to my creation.
Where everything was unknown.
Take time away where I was grown.
.
Unburden me with all teaching
Religious and moral preaching
Take me back to infancy
When the world at least was fancy.
.
Eyes would grow bigger,
With a surprise or fear.
Now everything is backed with reason,
Un-reasoned sounds like treason.
.
Hands could barely cover a finger
Of father mother or sister.
Palms,now have responsibility,
Shoulders forgetting fragility.
.
Drooling mouth with hunger,
Crying for reasons meager.
Now there are words into it,
Language's bewitching outfit.
.
Nothing stands simple
Complex structure knitted with one needle.
Then it was always something new,
No conclusions were at due.
.
Going back where this never was,
No reason no cause.
Yet its too much to give away,
Mocking infancy is what I say.
.
How long it will last again,
Loosing it all now and future pain.
How long can one mimic,
This cursed infancy called gimmick.

The Cries

in the silence of night,
a candle is burning.
wind softly playing with light,
there in someone is crying.
.
pain unknown to the little,
eyes are moist with tears.
so fragile, so brittle,
shrinking in with unknown fears.
.
every drop counts,
hopping the pain would go.
heart was merely making any sound.
time had stopped to watch the show.
.
the night was serene,
tears never seemed so heavy.
life as if was famine,
emotions then were colorless beauty.
.
little was left inside,
rest all was gone.
pain,that tears couldn't hide,
alas with pain,life was torn.
.
heart counted its beats,
wind too measured her force.
darkness slowly walked,absent strong lights.
and so was set the final course.
.
as the wind blew,
light turned into smoke's thread.
stopped the heart with now moments few.
there it was the end pain,there it was the end.

Faustian Smoke

In the dark room,
Silence has started its play.
Senses have nothing to feel,
Time slowly has started to decay.
.
The phosphoric friction,
Breeds in flame.
Ah! finally to my senses,
A ray of light came.
.
As the fire comes closer,
Warmth in dead cold i felt.
Air tickles the fire on d wood,
I should make most before its dead.
.
My breath makes my life burn,
And so the fire dies.
It served it purpose,
The dying hiss synonym to cries.
.
As inhale the constant dying fire,
Regains its darkness.
Spreading across my lungs,
Reaching my heart in its cunning calmness.
.
As i force it down,
It numbs my heart beats.
Sending poetic sensations,
Sensation bitter and sweeter than sweets.
.
And there it dies inside me.
I exhale its soul,
The dark remains in my body,
It burnt my chest for the heart new whole.
.
I see the mist flying away,
My body feels empty again.
I flick my own life's ashes,
My own burning life keeps me sane.
.
When fire is at end,
I've seen my own soul fly.
Its sheer pleasure,
When i see smoke disappear high.
.
I have no regrets.
Of breathing my own soul out,
It was the deal,
With devil.
For the pleasure of mine,
He'd take my soul.
I hand over it with my own will.

आता साला रडता हि येत नाही

हसवून हसवून कधी,

हसण्याचा विषय झालो,

समजलच नाही.

पोटा वर हाथ ठेऊन डोळे मिटून हसणं

इतका हसणं दुखात कधी बदललं समजलच नाही स्वतःवर हसूनच पोट दुखू लागले ह्या दुखातही आता साला रडता ही येत नाही. . तत्वांच्या भवति कोलाहल , कधी संपला , तत्व कधी विहीन झाले समजलच नाही . त्या कोलाहलात कधी मती हरवली वाट कधी चुक्कू लागली समजलच नाही. तत्वारहित वाटे वर चालता चालता दूर निघून आलो ह्या भटकंती च्या एकटेपणात आता साला रडता ही येत नाही. . एका ठोस इमारती सारखं त्यात कधी कंपना होऊ लागली समजलच नाही. कंपना मुळे इमारतीची नाझुक अवस्था समजलच नाही. मोठ होत्या दरारा इमारतीच्या हळुवार पडण्यावर, आता साला रडता ही येत नाही. . उरले सुरले जितके वाचवले काय वाचवलं समजलच नाही अनेकानेक भिन्न चेहरे उचल्या नंतर स्वतःचा कोणता सुद्धा समजलच नाही. इतका वेगळा,इतकी भिन्नता ओळखणं स्वतःला कठीण ह्या अपरिचित अवस्तेत एक गोष्ट मात्र खरी अनोलखी मध्ये सुद्धा आता साला रडता ही येत नाही. . अश्रू जसे कायमचे विसरले डोळ्याहून रस्ते आणि हूण्क्या स्मरणात नाही इतका कसा भास मुक्त भास रहित तर विहीन अर्थ ह्या भासा ची ,अर्थाची जाणीव असून सुद्धा आता साला रडता ही येत नाही.

Thirsty Tree

A colorless morning, fallen leaves,cold air Over branch a rope swinging, Twisted loop made of coir. Wind's gushing sound, Rope moving round, Dirt white claded hangs, Wounds and blood stains, In blink it goes n sustains, Dirty toes,pointing to ground, Ruffled hair, Broken neck's ecoing sound, Lack of blood making it fair. Last tears leaving kohl mark, Running deep till cheeks, Black lines on skin such stark. Body was cold and pale, A story was never to tell. Soil beneath wasn't wet, Blood that devil kept. Wounds from where blood crept, Blood,shouldn't gravity just accept. But the rope was turning red, Strand by strand below head. It sucked the blood slowly, Reaching above on the branch A tiny red leaf came lovely. More leaves came, But the body wasn't the same. It grew older and rotten Newer leaves when its not autumn. Hair grew white and started to fall Shrunken skin to the bone, Branch enjoying new all, Feeding on the dead alone. Through rope,it drank blood Fruits that it bore. stood still in storms n flood. It wasn't water but blood satisfied its core. Skeleton fell on ground, Rope looking for a prey around. Another to die on it, Another to feed, Another to give life for it Another victim indeed

My Cold Bride

it is a dark night,
lit by only moon light.
far i see some celebrations,
noisy and full of irritation.
.
standing on an abandoned tower,
in while it all will be over.
smoke form the puff acts as wind gauge,
my cold bride will earn me a heavy wage.
.
i slowly rest her on the floor,
her beauty needs no word anymore.
i slide my finger from lips to bottom,
moon light,calm wind and this night of autumn.
.
i look at the picture,
a pretty face and my bride's fixture.
i clean her,
not to forget pamper.
.
as she gets ready,
my hands starts getting steady.
a stable heart beat,
she looks perfect and neat.
.
as i hold her again on my shoulder,
the air has made her more colder.
as she sets her eye on the face,
clearing everything in my gaze.
.
both of us look at the stranger,
it will also be the last of his venture.
lost in his own,soon
will be a subject of mourn.
.
as my finger locks with her's,
as my lungs clears.
i pull her finger,
she gives birth to death in air it linger.
.
new born swiftly travels through air,
free form world,free from care.
my bride's soft push on me,
telling me to stop being naughty.
.
in seconds face was in pain,
death's and my bank's gain.
he crumbled and lay motionless,
grievances on every other face.
.
it meant nothing to me,
i did what i was told to be.
i lift her like trophy,
take the shell success's key.
.
she goes back again,
as i light up to remain sane.
a mission done,
wouldn't say that killing is never fun.

Cliff

She stands on the cliff,
dressed in white.
as the wind starts running shivers, She embraces herself,and
the rain begins to hide her tears.
.
she wonders about rain,
as it looks like her tears.
but yet she knows, she's fooled.
The rain isn't sour.
.
her breath is getting cold,
with every passing moment.
warmth is fading in her blood,
wondering whether she is alive or dead.
.
her eyes are closed,
and arms in fold.
A few steps further,
meets the dark valley,
a journey of lost and not of bold.
.
She is afraid to live,
She is scared of death.
As she stands alone,
No one around to put her faith.
.
Urge to live the past is strong,
She finds her future dark,
Present of her is painful,
Seems never ending and long.
.
As the gone time runs before,
She smiles for reason unknown.
Her face changes with time,
As the memories rhyme.
.
Her cries are turning into whispers, Her heavy sighs.
The chill in the air,
Leaving her into shivers.
.
She forwards her hand, Trying to feel the untouched,
Nothing is there she can feel, And nothing is there she can feel.
.
She cannot be strong,and
She's tired of being weak.
That once stood beautyfull now stands bleak.
.
she moves ahead,
plunge into eternal darkness,
as she takes flight from the cliff,
only to reach among the dead.

Darkness

no one can see who you are,
no can make how near or far.
words are whispers,
and breathing is chaos.
face with no masks,
and cruelty in its own charms.
sly,cunning a fake smile,
grin, smirk an evil laughter open and nothing to conceal
the eyes shed everything,
evil desire, the lusty pain.
darkness around crime is only a gain.
snatch it,grab it as what you like,
no will ever see.
 for a while be what you want to be.
shade your mask and let me see.
drop your words and let me hear you scream
let me take away your pain,
let me go insane.
your crafty evil
your drooling will
put me to an end now,
its darkness here
 no one will ever know,
what happened here so,
put that knife in to my heart,
twist it turn it and tear me apart.
let me die with the dying flame,
let me die and hide your greedy shame.
for with light i wont return
and so shall not your sins,
with light bring your mask
and pretend as much you need.

-Prayer To Moon-

There a Starry sky lies in front of her,
She looks for a new star there.
Searching for someone so dear,
In the night sky bright and clear.

.
And there she finds Moon,
Ever shining admits darkness,
Bright and its calmness,
Gives her a company and strength soon.
.
Moon Looks into her eye,
Eyes deeply engrossed in the wait,
of a new bright Star in the Sky
Moon wishes to ask about her fate.
.
She replies My Father is the new star
nearer to you,but dearer to me,
now he is so far,
and away from me.
.
Ah!!there he is, pointing to new dot,
looks bright and nice,
sweet and shiny,
in the whole lot.
.
She looks at the Star and smiles,
Now she knows he is in grace,
Please keep him close.
She softly replies.
.
Yes dear the moon said,
But You shall be charged.
Surprising her Moon smiled,
Looking at her astonishment,
Moon made her understand what is to be paid.
.
Its difficult for her,
she requests for some time.
She is weak and broken
Tells Moon That,
She misses Him who used to tell her
everything will urn fine.
.
Moon says again to convince her
its the new stars wish,
you have what is needed to pay me,
to keep new star safe It is the key.
.
Gathering her Strength
she smiles
will this do?
For now Moon humbly replies.
.
With her Smile the star turned bright,
noticing this In her heart,
she now knows Why Paying moon was right,
And they reach to the end of the night.
.
Moon reminds her of their agreement
she assures him of its fulfillment
She is relived to see the star
Promising to smile,
between her and the Moon that's the settlement...

-Tears-

As tear travels from her close eyes
sliding in her silence to her cheeks
Wetting the memories
making her relive the past stories..
.
soon it turns towards her chin,
only she knows how it has been,
and the drop leaves her face,
dropping on the floor dividing into millions,
making her heart feel the same case.
.
like her heart beats she wants to stop,
her tears keep flowing,
meeting the same fate as above,
with each tear loosing on hope..
.
there is no justice to her screams
no answers to her questions
above in the sky God too is speechless
and numb it seems..
.
she covers her face,
not showing the world,
her tears as none cares
yet the pearl slips through her fingers,
filling the gap between,
which were by her Father's.
.
There seem no end to this,
The more she wanted to stop,
Fresh Wounds,and Memories,
All of them she is now going to Miss.
.
Dreams that she shared,
with him as he only cared.
Looking at her palms,
it's all here he always said.
lines on her palm wet by her tears,
are about to fade.
.
She is tired now,
Her body has given up against pain,
yet her tears fall from her eyes
again and again.
.
Every hope,
gone.
He who wiped her eyes,
gone.
Reasons to Smile,
Gone.
Her soul too it seems,
Gone.
.
All she could do is cry,
Pain so huge,
her eyes now turn dry,
Moment of Silence
from her own pain
it ran to eat her
and she could not stop herself again..

the stretch of lips

There's a stretch on my lips,
Don't mistake it for the smile.
The distance between the tips,
Lasting for a while.
.
Feeling completely different,
Showing something else.
Feeling those are not errant,
It couldn't be hidden on face.
.
There's a stretch on my lips,
It is just something to see.
No one knows what the heart keeps,
What it wants to be.
.
How long it has been,
To the loud laughter.
Oh!it was there yesterday if just seen,
Pair eye is nothing but betrayer.
.
There's a stretch on my lips,
Wondering what it is.
If not smile for my heart weeps,
With every beat sorrow it bleeds.
.
Don't look into my eyes,
They are dry with tears.
Feeling isn't what my face defines,
There is cold and lots of fears.
.
There's a stretch on my lips,
It means nothing to me.
Brutally to my heart it whips,
what is left is the unsaid pain and agony.
.
I might ask you to shut up,
or might kill you in my mind.
a quick sanity rub,
over my soul and i am again kind.
.
there's a stretch on my lips.
mistake it with my smile.
as in deception it deeps,
fooling eyes since a while.

Moments Before

She sits by the swing,
waiting for time to end.
her only wish remains
she wishes only if time could bend.

As she goes forward and comes back,
in the time she walks.
Happyness and sorrow
in her mind her memory talks.

Reason for her to first step,
Man behind her first snap.
to her every little achievement
now who is going to clap?

Not realizing her present
as her swing goes fast.
she refuses to live,
and yet survives in her past.

The air is cold around her
her skin feels the chill.
only warmth to her
is from the tears assent to her will.

Her silence is loud
she cries sitting alone
wondering how unfairly
Every dream of her's has been blown.

She gives up,
and stops her swing.
picks up the cold sharp metal
and puts it against her skin,
as the metal quietly rubs in.
Pain is unbearable yet she accepts it
she refuses to cry as hot blood touches her feet.
her vision goes faint
She only smiles,
she remembers him,
now she feels detached to the world they dwelt.

Her breath gets heavy,
and tears stop flowing.
she is still smiling,
telling to heavens that now she is coming. 

Last Glances

He was sleeping peacefully,
dressed in black,
In the wooden box.
She gives her final looks,
Knowing that he will never come back.
.
Flowers kept besides,
They are beautyful and bright.
Wondering about them,
She has darkness around and no light.
.
He looks in peace,
As he rests forever.
Her happyness,her life.
Suddenly all has came in to cease.
.
She leans to look closer,
Since her childhood,
For her he looked like this never.
Kissing him for the last,
Knowing that after this she never would.
.
Drop of tear,
Travels down from her eye,
And rests besides him.
She lived her life again and again,
The drop sinks below the cushion where his head lie.
.
Its hard to move away,
But he is already gone.
She gets up and stands again,
As he is slowly pushed down,inside earth,
And tomorrow there would be no dawn.
.
They close the casket,
Now all she has memories.
As the earth finally takes him,
All she has are stories.
.
A Friend,A Father,
The stone read.
Concluding his life between two dates,
For her he is still alive,
Even when all called him dead.

He and She

He was born,
As he grew,
She was there,
Her presence known to few.
.
He always felt her,
Going against the norms.
A rebel in nature,
Even in simplest of forms.
.
She became a part of his,
A part was hard to miss.
His struggle to know her,
His own self getting blur.
.
He would use words,
And she would say through eyes.
He tried to be hard,
She would understand his cries.
.
He was confused,
But she was not.
He would feel disgusted,
Before he could realize a lot.
.
He would hide tears,
They were feminine.
She would remain calm,
Wondering what's mine?
.
Subtle hints she would throw,
Too scared to realize,
He would just,
Let them go.
.
He couldn't deny her,
He struggled within.
So twisted his emotions were,
He only wondered how long its been.
.
Even to love was a problem,
Society would never approve.
He knew that they are not same,
And she knew he was broken even to move.
.
For long they have been together,
He has changed into her.
Only a body of man remains,
His soul and rest she gracefully claims.
.
One body they both had,
Their struggle had to end.
She in his body nicely clad,
He in her desire would bend.

Then and Now

Reading the old mails,
A smile is there,
with passing moment my reasoning fails,
holding on to it was it still fair?
.
the love,the care as i read,
my heart started skipping beats.
i started getting afraid,
this moment i am clueless about where it leads.
.
that shine in the eye,
never ending laughter.
just words and meaning passing by,
leaving time in alter.
.
It all seemed great,
us being together.
never thought that time would create,
such instances that it would falter.
.
closing eyes and holding hands,
walking towards a point.
now the bond is in strands,
line diverging from wishful joint.
.
day would pass in wait of night,
night would walk with feeling.
now the tears and soaked pillows are right,
right again would start healing.
.
where it all changed,
heart had its second beat.
now its another feeling to be arranged,
waiting for you to mess up the neat.

Talks

She bought some fresh flowers,
some roses and lilies he liked,
she lowers them on the stone,
and joins her hand for prayers.

her eyes are closed
and she bursts out.
ahh..my child-says the voice,
do not cry so loud.

Its him she easily recognizes,
smiles and looks around
but finds no one
whom she misses.

i am here in front of you,
he says again.
she looks at the grave,
and there's a faint smile in the pool of pain.

She knows she is imagining,
but all seems so real.
his voice,his love,
and as always calming.

What do i do?she replies,
i am no one without you.
Live your life
he says,I have full faith in you.

She narrates her life,
of the time she's been alone.
He feels like hugging her,
but nothing he could do no way his love can be shown.
.
she wipes her tears,
and keeps the flowers down.
he knows that she is leaving,
he knows pain of a weak's longing.
she smiles,she knew he would love it.
he smiles at back at her,
he knew she would love it.

Turmoil

Unusual Calmness in my mind,
Fear of a Chaos approaches,
i need a hide out to find,
shelter me from the frantic as it reaches.
.
unable to breath as the world revolves,
as i hold tightly my sanity,
the chaos crawls,
i loose the clarity.
.
the numbness of reason,
frozen smile.
mind with its own treason,
tranquility is about get spoil.
.
as the eyes turn red,
body starts shivering,
nothing about cold was said,
and heart's disturbed beating.
.
the circle of memories begins,
smiles,tears and anger like seasons,
witnessing all cravings,
caged in my own prison.
.
periodic light from the barred window,
prison walls are craved out of anxiety,
making me afraid of my own shadow,
my mind starts giving up subtly.
.
tired and tied there is no way to escape,
as the chaos passed,
reason again takes its shape,
wondering again which path it really crossed.

-The magnificent night-

She wore a dress white,
with ever enchanting smile.
The room was lit by a candle's light,
burning in passion in its own might.
.
A rose beaming for her,
but knows it can never match her.
as the light falls on her face,
ahh..the beauty even leave Venus amaze.
.
she sits, and looks.
trying to read my face as a book.
her gleaming eyes,
the ring in her finger shines.
.
the precious moment,
her enchanting scent.
the wind gathering up her hair,
angel's complain "that's not fair".
.
we eat and we drink,
in love as together we sink.
A sweet hug and the music,
our legs move as the rhythm is picked.
.
our hands locked,
As only with eyes we talked.
as we danced, so did the flame,
slowly she came closer and whispered my name.
.
the small kiss over my ear,
sends a warm shiver.
as my hand holds her tight,
she knows her voice has done the trick right.
.
and
.
so the candle light ends,
the music has stopped.
Over me a lil she bends,
Our lips are locked.
.
eyes are closed,
heart beats are high.
as the sweetness flows,
Even the rose feels shy.
.
there's a lil smile in the kiss,
not to mention its bliss.
as we break,a look on our face,
that moment and that Gaze.
.
and i lift her in my arms,
like a princess of all charms.
she holds my neck,
as steps towards room i take.
.
for her the room was dressed,
with aroma and red rose it was blessed.
as we sit on the bed,
letting the time fade.
the night saw the rest,
and morning just saw her sleeping on my chest.

Gone

My soul melts n flows in my tear,
My helplessness for my love who's in fear.
My absence near her,
Her empty hand.
As loneliness closes in,
She breaks and my efforts to hold her.
Pain of her's i wish i could bear,
Her Silent Cries is all i can hear,
She has lost herself somewhere
I wish i could hold her near.
Her heart is heavy,
And in pain her eyes beautyfull.
The memories of recent,
As clear as present and sorrowful.
I would never let him go away
we'l keep him in our memories
its not their body matters
but their thoughts shows us the way.
Hands close to her heart
and prayers on lips.
Trying to wish for peace,
for the departed soul
wishing for god's own golden cart.
He sleeps in front of her,
words have gone silent.
and the spoken became memories,
yet still around her.
 She anticipates his hug every morning,
his voice to call her.
in moments it was all gone
and never to happen again.
voices in her ear
and no one is near
she feels lil scare
and love is what she fear.
all what she had is gone forever..