Other Side

P.S-This is The story from the view of the killer, in a reply to the story written by one of my very special friend where the protagonist is the victim of this story 

  He saw her in the reflection of window glass talking over the mobile. Ignorant of his existence, she stood there.Her door wasn't the hardest one to crack,to him it was slice through butter.Photographs of her wedding such happy faces he never liked smiles neither his nor others, laughing was something he could not stand at all. Though he admits snow is bit of a problem. He hated the cold ever since he could remember, shivering nights, dreadful memories hungry nights and dying fire. Every little pain of then seems nothing now in front of the pain which he gives to others with his favorite toy, his knife. 

  He glanced at the shining edge of the knife,looking just at his eyes. Certain excitement to kill was there he knew it. As he slowly moved towards her. She was still looking outside the window,searching for some kind of signs on the snow. And there it was,her eyes met his in the reflection. He instantly fell in love with those horror struck eyes. Her ignorance he chuckled has costed her something that she could never imagine, her life. He slowly covered her mouth and ran his knife in a straight line over her neck. His numb hand felt the warmth of her tears and then gushing blood. The sense of relief form the cold,nothing more he treasures was flowing through her neck on his hands and down below.He slowly lowers her body on the floor,looks into those frost frightened eyes, eyes he fell in love with.

  He left her there to be found. Looking around it seemed that they just had a vacation.. 'Oh!such spoiler I am' he reminded himself and no one ever knew what happened or who was there.

Free time

i wonder if i am free
to be what i want to be
a panda or a butterfly
a white whale, a polar bear i want to be
it isn't what you read but what you see,
underneath all the gimmicks and mockery
there lies a humble tragedy.
unable to be laugh,
unable to be stupid
bound and burdened 
with thought's stampede
surviving won’t be for long,
like the end of this merry song.
For my hate of comedy
I have no ways to escape
my life's untruthful parody
the pain and the sorrow hiding under the cape.
I can’t be something what i am not for long
you have noticed.
Lust like the previous song
this one can never be on the above list.
The grandeur of lifeless comedy
so demeaning and powerful
there lies my poor tragedy 
broken and pitiful.

Wind

The wind has odd calmness,
As if the air has been drugged,
And is devoid of it senses.
Unusual mystery in the breeze,
Gathering around the curtains,
Disturbing the dead leaves.
It smells of fright,
It seems dead in its own way,
What treacherous night.
It was never so dramatic,
Never so vicious.
Odd numbness of a frantic.
Sky is partially clouded,
So is the reason,
Every smile I see looks eluded
Am I the only to feel the dread?
Or its my mind playing tricks,
Wishing ignorance, I wish to fade.
May this conspiring wind,
Take my ashes away
Where I am no one's find.

Written in Red

Pale hands left weakened,
The cold shiver saw no end,
Trembling fingers over the quill
Loosened grip trying to stay still,
It was daily routine,
Words ending in silent scream.
Quill kept on writing,
Pain went on increasing.
Blurred eyes couldn't bear light,
flickering shadows of fright.
Lines went on incomplete,
Battle with cursed quill ending in defeat.
Wasn't long before burdend with expectation,
Giving up life seemed only solution
Leaving body hanging on neck,
Hopping death would mark the check
A vision in closed eyes,
Gave a chance full of lies,
Sanity in senses was regained,
Paper with quill dipped in red.
"Ask what you need,
It shall get heed,
Remember there is a price,
What is given, shall be taken thrice."
Soul was taken over by greed,
Wishing for more than the need.
Amassed wealth,
Family with good health,
Lust drooling eyes,
Blind to pain and nearing cries,
With each wish being fulfiled,
enormous power to feed.
Forgotten long about agreement,
It was quill's turn for return payment.
It was the red ink
Failing to understand the link.
It was now too late,
It's been long addicted.
To lust,power and its gain.
Memory had forgotten about the pain.
Realizing ink was blood,
Flowing out in stealth flood.
Final wish was of life,
"What is given,shall be taken in thrice"
Mind constantly thinking of price.
And so struck with horror,
Death was much slower.
In love seemed death,
Claiming everyone in stealth.
Knowing it wasn't for long,
Wrote down the final song.
Ink started to fade,
Remember the payment it said.
Pain's excruciating tip.,
Death's cold grip.
Trembling fingers holding the quill
Soaked in blood waiting for the kill.
The blood slowly dried,
Paper too was wiped.
Greed had its victim,
It was never simple as it seem.
Soul was carried away,
Quill was gone in greed's way

Escaping Paradox

--Escaping Paradox--

Alone i stand,
Surrounded by words many.
Disposed at my choice,
To carry the meaning any.
.
A word is a word,
And meaning has a meaning too.
Nothing/void is a word,
Meaningless has a meaning too.
.
Some have shape,
Some have sound.
Limiting my world,
Words keep me in bound.
.
A word has a meaning,
And meaning is a word too.
Both change in context,
Like color of sky,
and beaten eye, is blue.
.
A quest to climb above words,
I need them.
Helpless and lost,
I find my self,
Not knowing from where i came.
.
Is there beyond words,
Some say gestures.
Gestures too are signified by words,
Everything i know of,
There is nothing that word doesn't captures.
.
My escape from them,
My path have been laid.
I do not know what you make,
Of what I've said.
.
I see it within,
Understand their function,
Their different uses,
Are not to mention.
.
Our beliefs,
Are taken for granted.
Words being one of them,
Their depletion has started.
.
Hold them close,
Let not them escape.
Yet as i speak,prior to i write,
They too follow rules and shape.
.
From where they occur?
Differences lie,and
So does concur.
Nothing seems out of it,
Everything is just attached to it.
.
To my endless tries,
Of saying and expressing.
Their failures and agony,
Only it words it suffice.
.
Pull me out,
Let me scream and shout.
To my dismay everything has a word,
Nothing has no word.

आज सहज रडू आलं

आज सहज रडू आलं 

इतक्या वेळे पस्ना 

जपून ठेवलेला दुख 

अपुआप कोसळू लागलं 

अश्रूंच्या धारा समता संपे न,

कुणाच ठाऊक काय झालं 

आसवानी ओले होत डोळे 

सगळा अश्रूतून दिसू लागलं 

ओझल होत डोळ्यां पुढे 

सर्व काही स्पष्ट दिसू लागले 

इत परयन्त न रडण्याची क्षमता 

काही कल्पना न देत धारण वाहू लागले 

अपयशाचं आणि प्रेमाचं सुद्धा

स्वतःच्याच विचारातली झुंज 

आणि त्यात उद्याचे भार समझुन आले 

म्हणून आज रडू आले 

गालावर ओलसर रेष 

उगाच का पुसावी मी

कळू देत जगाला रडणं येत मला 

मध्यंतरी कदाचित विसरलो होतो

रडणं काय असतं 

आज मात्र परत जाणीव झाली

खाऱ्या पाण्यानी साचली डोळे 

कित्ती गोड सुख पेरतील 

ह्याची झरा कल्पना नाही 

काही दिवसान पूर्वी 

साला रडता काही येत नाही 

आणि आज हे संपता समप्त नाही 

Cogito-Ergo-Sum

I saw myself in mirror,
To my horror,
There was nothing I knew,
Those eyes, that face everything new.
And I kept on looking,
I kept on thinking,
Where am I?
Who am I?
In the mirror or out side,
What is real and what is a lie?
There was no recognition,
No memory.
Troubling mind seeked no salvation, Or a skilled forgery?
Mirror was lying to me
Or my eyes,
Cruel as it could be,
Punishing can be these cries,
Time never stoped,
I might have lost the track,
What span did my mind chopped, Unknowing me went back.
Do I exist or I am just a fragment,
Of someone else's mind,
If it was so why am I to torment, What am I here to find,
Over the torturous loop,
Of thinking,
My mind's coup
On my thoughts bleeding.
It came to me,
I was still thinking,
What I wanted to see
Lil noise breaking the mum,
Whisper of cogito-ergo-sum.
I am think,therefore I am
How could I let escape it,
It was always there,
The doubt, It was only fare
For my thinking to be loud.
I was there not with my thoughts apart,
I remember again of Descartes,

Masked

Senses deceive many,
Away from realities.
Truth independent of them,
Appearances are mere possibilities.
.
I tested my self,
Looking at myself in mirror.
Wondered looking in my own eyes,
Going deep in them,looking beyond error.
.
I touched myself,
Nothing familiar it felt.
Cold,hard no textures,
I had no idea,with whom my eyes met.
.
A complete stranger,
My reflection was.
Beyond the view of my eyes,
My thoughts went in chaos.
.
Mocking me seemed his nature,
I failed to trap him.
Again and again my failure would make his eye gleam.
.
He only could do what i could,
Something hidden to him were my thoughts.
Now he looked surprised,
I didn't knew how to connect the dots..
.
I am,to me is of my thinking,
I am,to rest is what I show.
My reflection too is the slave,
Am i a human or a cunning crow.
.
I pull my mask off my face,
Time cries in pain and every emotion bleeds.
I scream,feeling same as time,
Pulling it out slowly the mask of my deeds.
.
Left with no strength,
I was shivering with pain.
I looked in mirror,
Since then i never looked at myself again..
.
No one could stand my face now,
Rejections came from everywhere.
I started to build a mask,
Learning again why the masks are so real and dear.

Art Thou Only Words

At times I think,what am I? Am I made up of feelings or I know how they work(through language). There are times when I am numb, yet words that I say might give a different picture altogether.where is the meaning of what I say. It is merely a painting of words. It's connection to the reality may or may not be true(in logical sense) but then does that mean what ever I have said has no meaning. The repetitive usage of words. Every situation is like a puzzle block and I (may/may not,but most of the times) know how to fix it and all via language. Has language completely taken over me and all my efforts to go beyond it(no matter how rigorous they are) will always be disappointing. At times(most if the times) it is frustrating to feel nothing but language plays in such a deceiving manner that it (i don't know about others) dazzles me. It is almost like my words have no.connection with me but what ever is logically true they correspond to them(according to situation). Am I really bewitched by language? Am I completely incapable of feel my emotion my love, my care, my rage? Even as I pose this question in front of me, it is only a doubt I am presenting. I don't know why it is not troubling me at all apart from my curiosity i don't feel anything. Am I a talking and walking statue of bones and flesh? devoid of feeling. All I can say I have is my sense of Duty(towards Everyone I know) this duty too no doubt arises from a logical patter nothing that I feel intrinsically.  

आज वीज जायला पाहिजे

आज वीज जायला पाहिजे,

घरात अचानक अंधार लोटला पाहिजे,

क्षणात बुबुळ मोठ होण्याचा आभास,

आणि मेणबत्ती शोधण्याचा त्रास,

प्रकाशाचा गोंधळ थोडा दूर झाला पाहिजे,

आज वीज जायला पाहिजे. 

. 

खिडकी चे पडदे सरकले,

कॉलोनी ची मुलं खिदळले,

हो! चा आवाज करून 

समोरच्या मैदानात जमून 

त्यांना काही मज्जा पाहिजे 

आज वीज जायला पाहिजे 

. 

वरांड्यात उभ असून 

एक रंगी शहर बघून 

जे नेहमी वेगळ्याच चमचमीत असतं 

ते अंधाराने गाढ झोपेत होतं 

शेवटी डोळ्यानाही काही नवीन पाहिजे 

आज वीज जायला पाहिजे 

. 

आणि लिहिता लिहिता खरंच वीज गेली 

एका एक सगळी कामं थांबली 

बाबांची न्यूस,आई ची प्रेस(Iron) आणि माझा लिहणं 

ह्या संयोगा विषयी स्वतःला विचारणं 

एका स्मित हास्या नंतर असा वाटलं 

अशी स्थिती परत वाहयला पाहिजे 

वीज जाऊन आता काही क्षणं झाले 

त्यात आपण हि थोडी मस्ती केली पाहिजे
पण खूप झाला हा अंधार 

आता वीज परत आली पाहिजे

Final Steps:Towards Death

He knows its end,
Of his unlawful life.
His mistakes,his sins,
Time has slipped to mend.
.
The darkness has crawled,
His own actions,
have laid the path,
Mideeds are now solved.
.
His run was over,
His fate was sealed,
Crimes he was a part,
On them now there's no cover.
.
He thought he was invincible,
But forgot the basics.
Now caged in square room,
His false power came to criple.
.
-TOWARDS FINAL CAPITAL-
.
They looked into his eyes,
No regret was found.
He still was not aware of mistakes,
hands cuffed,he walks where his death lies.
.
Each step is limited by chain,
He remebers his sins,
Crimes he enjoyed doing,
Now everything seems invain.
.
His heart beats ruthlessly,
Even heart has realized there are few left.
As he sees the final knot,
His eyes react to the guilt slowly.
.
'Any last wish?'
Was the only sound made.
He nods in denial,
As he stands for his soul to vanquish.
.
He glances at everyone,
Remembers every relation,
His final view to the world,
Realizing his mistakes done.
.
As the black cloth covers his face,
Hidden from the world,
The tears of sins fall,
As he wears culprit's necklace.
.
Now darkness has no meaning,
Any moment it would all end,
His body falls,with the liver,
The final squirm comes to halt,
Another body has reached its ending...

Both Ways

(H-assassin, h-victim)
He lingers down the ally,
Waiting for him.
The darkness has walked in,
Lights too are deem.
..
In crowd he walks,
Down towards ally.
its a regular walk for him,
just like daily.
.
He has His knife ready,
for preventing sins.
He sets His eye,
Upon His prey to add among the wins.
..
As he walks,
a dark distinct figure he sees.
drawing closer to the figure unmoved,
he has no idea of his misdeeds.
.
He counted his footsteps,
In a while His blade will talk.
Its time to be necessary evil,
But,a good one narrowing His prey like hovering hawk.
..
he was happy for his day,
he made some money in dark.
not knowing his illicit pleasure,
had caused a poor his life's mark.
.
He pulls him with a force,
pushes him against the wall.
You are mine!He exclaimed,
And This is your fall.
..
he feels an unmatched force,
Hitting his face on bricks.
A warm sensation through his nose,
Feeling cold hands and being frisk.
.
He turned him around,
Looked in his eyes.
Fear and mercy He saw,
But beyond  were many lies.
..
he gazes in His eyes,
Cold and ruthless.
he could barely keep them open,
he has nothing to see but metal shine in darkness.
.
This is you!He whispered,
Scared,pitiful he added.
He rubbed His knife on his palm,
His signature He left on dead.
..
he was sweating and scared,
His words started haunt him.
Cold cut on his palm he felt,
Warm blood following knife has its gleam.
.
He narrated a story,
Tale of corrupt and evil.
His grip was getting tighter around his neck,
A life now is on His will.
..
he heard every word carefully,
it was hard to concentrate.
he knew it was his story,
Misdeeds and mistakes that he made.
.
He finished His ritual,
it was time to kill.
Pushing down the knife slowly in heart,
Life flowing away from body was bliss feel.
..
he felt the tip moving over his heart,
Sensing the end is near.
Pain increased as the knife went in,
Soul flying away along with his prayer.
.
He dropped him,
Lifeless..
Another sinful has gone,
He finished the case..
Monster He felt,
With His devil his demon feuded,
Battle in demon's death resulted..
..