Free time

i wonder if i am free
to be what i want to be
a panda or a butterfly
a white whale, a polar bear i want to be
it isn't what you read but what you see,
underneath all the gimmicks and mockery
there lies a humble tragedy.
unable to be laugh,
unable to be stupid
bound and burdened 
with thought's stampede
surviving won’t be for long,
like the end of this merry song.
For my hate of comedy
I have no ways to escape
my life's untruthful parody
the pain and the sorrow hiding under the cape.
I can’t be something what i am not for long
you have noticed.
Lust like the previous song
this one can never be on the above list.
The grandeur of lifeless comedy
so demeaning and powerful
there lies my poor tragedy 
broken and pitiful.